


Fade Into You

by alextheghostdrummer



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Female Friendship, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Light Angst, M/M, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alextheghostdrummer/pseuds/alextheghostdrummer
Summary: Based on Roswell New Mexico characters with a different take on the story in season 2
Relationships: Max Evans/Liz Ortecho, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my first fanfic ever. this first chapter is an introdutory one. i hope you like it

Resting both of their elbows onto the deck of the bar, both men let their glasses full of beer close to their hands, an action done based in second nature. The conversation now takes a different turn, Alex comments on the past ten years, and how much they differ from the teenage version of themselves

\- I knew you were many things, Guerin, but a petty criminal was not one of them. My teenage emo self could’ve never predict that my high-school crush would turn out to be the person with the biggest criminal record in this town – said the man mockingly 

Michael, clearly bothered by his ex lover statement replies harshly:

\- I did what I had to do to survive in this town. I don’t know if you remember but I didn’t get the white-fence-picture-perfect family. Hell, I barely even had a family at all – asserted the man aggressively - My brother and sister had parents who cared for them, who tucked them into bed and read freaking fairytale stories, meanwhile I was jumping from home to home, and sleeping in my truck. So, yeah, I stole some things here and there, sold some, I did what I had to do – remarked the out-worldly specimen  
\- That’s bullshit, Guerin. What about all the times you spent time in jail because you started a bar fight? And you could’ve gotten a good job, man – explained Manes – with that brilliant brain of yours you could’ve done anything, there are people in way worse situations than you were working multiple jobs just to get by and they never committed a felony, like yourself – claimed Alex pretentiously  
\- Get off your moral high-horse, will you? You think you’re so much better than me but, in reality, you’re as much of a criminal as I am; worse – annoyed, he uttered – Yes, I picked up fights, I’ve done some illegal activities myself, yeah – he says now in an ironic tone - but I never killed anyone, I never killed an innocent person, I bet you can’t say that for yourself, can you? – he challenges Alex, impulsively 

His companion lowers his head, in a defeated manner. There was never any possibility of relief from that reality since nothing is as ungrateful as a guilty man’s consciousness. While sometimes Alex wasn’t reminiscing his unwanted memories, the outside world made sure to remind him in the form of news, articles, internet posts and commentary made in person. This was no different from the latter but what made him even more miserable was the fact that those words came out of the mouth he loved the most in the world. 

\- You’re right – Alex lifts his head softly as he replied – I did murder innocent people, people who were suffering, victims of a war they did not choose to partake in, all with a pretense of protecting my country thousands of miles away that not only thinks of them as potential threats but treat them as such – he tried to grasp for air as a wanderer in a desert after their first glass of water; he exhales, lowering his head once more – I ain’t got a good enough excuse to justify the harm that I’ve caused – he shakes his head lightly. A small tear forms in his eyes as he finishes his sentence, but before it’s imminent fall, he wipes it away. He clears his throat.  
Mid-breath, Michael realizes what he’d she just said; how his words hurt the man that he loved who already carried immense guilt for his actions as well as his family’s. In an attempt to mend the hurt he unleashed, he says quietly and regretfully:  
\- I’m sorry  
\- No need – affirms, the military man, lamentably  
Alex turns away, about to take steps to distance himself from Michael, towards the door considering driving away to his house, where he’d be alone in his sorrow to endure his dark thoughts and memories, in solitude, without judgement, except for his own and, in actuality he was his worst critic.  
\- Alex – Michael calls out, apologetically, after gripping his elbow region – I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that – he says as rapidly as he releases Alex’s arm

Sharing an intense meaningful glance, Alex looks down, only to quickly show a half-smile and remark, still hurting a bit:  
\- You know, Guerin, no matter how much I know all of what you just said, somehow it hurts twice as much when you say it.  
Michael sighs discretely, not knowing if he is concerned or unusually flattered. Locking eyes expressively seem to be their specialty when tip-toeing sensitive subjects as such. But it gave them comfort while being uncomfortable, like a safe place for a crashing aircraft to land. 

Guerin takes a step further in his direction. He caresses the distressed man’s hair, intertwining his fingers with Alex’s strands of hair. Then, he proceeds to place his left hand on his nape, as if he were holding his head in place with caution, he adds his right hand to hold Alex’s right side. Another step is taken. Once again, with unbreakable eye-contact, Michael pulls the man closer to his body, hugging him loosely, he mutters softly to his ear:

\- For someone considered smart I’m a shit-show with my words – he squeezes his shoulder and immediately takes a step back

\- Yeah… - Alex lets out a shy laugh 

\- I tell you what, next round is on me, alright? – says Guerin confidently, unware of the smile he was presenting

\- Nah… maybe next time, it’s late. I gotta go –he smiled without showing his teeth – See you tomorrow?

Michael nods with both slight excitement and disappointment 

\- Sure  
Alex turns away slowly from him, and walks towards the exit, now actually leaving The Pony. Michael Guerin had distinct abilities, but accompanying a loved one discretely with his eyes was not one of them and that most certainly applied to Manes.  
\- Is he leaving already? – his intense gazing is interrupted by sweet words spoken with some concern 

\- Yeah, said it’s late – scoffed Michael, now turning to the back of the bar to find Maria returning the stare he gave away – I guess 10:30 PM is Alex Manes’s curfew

Maria chuckles

\- You should tell him, y’know

\- I don’t think I’m ready yet

He then finds himself looking at his own reflection behind the bar’s counter, sharing the vision of himself with somewhat tall bottles of glass. Clear, black, green. How is it that speaking words became so hard? Needless to say, it was not like he didn’t know how to, it just seemed that his tongue would become heavy and his jaw would clench involuntarily whenever he tried to utter the words he waited way too long to pronounce. Maybe that was his way of protecting himself from inevitable heartbreak since that it was way too familiar to him when it came to Alex. Almost as familiar as the warm childlike nervous joy he would feel when he thought about him. Or was it self-sabotage? That seemed like the word of the moment and it fit his situation perfectly one way or another. Although, soreness and relief felt as natural as a healing strained muscle, he knew he would only get closure if he allowed himself to. Maybe it was time to let go of their damaged past, more specifically: of what hurt about it. He now wondered how much time he spent while catatonically weighing his thoughts. It doesn’t matter. He gets up. Takes whatever cash he has inside his jeans pockets, put it on the counter. Maria, a silent observer while fulfilling her bar owner duties, such as drying up glass, broke silence, concerned once more:

\- Are you okay? I don’t think I’ve seen you voluntarily pay your tab in my life 

He laughs, a bit embarrassed realizing now he could be seen while chasing thoughts given the cue that she noticed him  
\- Yeah, first time for everything right? – he advances, leaning his standing body over the deck of the counter, kissing Maria’s soft cheeks.

The outstanding looking woman knows something might have disturbed Michael enough for him to clumsily give her his money, but she couldn’t possibly know what inasmuch he was already moving. He leaves.


	2. He is awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second chapter, part one :) i hope you like it

In the morning, through the moving drapes, sunbeams pierce Alex ‘s eyes. Time to wake up. He takes his time to adjust himself, next, he picks up his phone. Screen says 07:05 AM. At least he slept a few more hours than the previous night. He notices a new text notification: it’s from Kyle. “Max is up. I need your help”. So much for a tranquil day; his mind immediately goes to Liz and his sinking heart worries. How is she feeling? Is it too much by now? How much more could she take? First, her mom, then Rosa and now Max. He stares blankly into the distance of his sunlit room. Without wasting anymore, he stands up quickly picks out one of his uniforms, not knowing what the situation could require. Soon after dressing up, he casts whatever belongings he has on his kitchen table swiftly into a bag and marches to the front door. He slams it unintentionally.  
As soon as he arrives, Kyle is striding down the stairs of the late indian boarding school. While taking the keys out of the ignition he hears Kyle uttering:

\- Alex! – he is panting with sweat sprinkled across his forehead – C’mon

Kyle’s agitation is contagious. Suddenly Alex’s shortage of breath isn’t from walking quickly but pure and blunt anxiety. Kyle is guiding him to the basement with no explanation of what they will be doing there. He starts to wonder about safety. Are they safe? Is Max, well, dangerous? Is he going to need ammunition against Michael’s family? His right hand moves slowly down his stomach only be met by lukewarm metal, he holds it tightly. 

\- Here! – Kyle points out, on the verge of screaming 

He bundles the raggedy door and it slams on the wall nearly falling apart. Startled, Liz stands up and vigorously wipes her face with her shirt’s sleeve as if it’d make the assumptions of her crying vanish. Red cheeks, runny nose, streaming tears and mascara clumps, it was painted on her face. Once again, the military man’s heart sank. 

\- Liz, are you okay? – he inquires thoughtfully 

\- You brought Alex? – she says without batting an eye to his question

\- He was the next best thing to Maria, and you know she’s at the hospital visiting her mom

\- I told you I’m fine, Kyle – she says in a bratty manner 

\- I’m a doctor, Liz, I’ll believe you when you give me a reason to do so – he asserted 

\- I’m right here guys – Manes remarked

Kyle gives both of them a stern look and walks away to close the door carefully, leaving the room. 

\- I’m fine, Alex – she finally answers the question although not honestly 

\- Are you really trying to lie to me right now? – he almost laughs at how ridiculous that sounded 

\- So what do you want me to tell you? – she cries furiously - That I feel hopeless? Destroyed by the fact that the man I love doesn’t know who I am? Or-

\- He doesn’t remember you? - she’s abruptly interrupted by an inquisitive Alex Manes 

Tears start filling her eyes, surpassing her waterline and falling onto her cheeks.  
Max had been asleep for a week after his duel with Isobel to unloose his murderous rage. He seemed to be healing significantly just by resting, untouched. Then suddenly early in the morning on that exact day he rises from his slumber only to meet Kyle barely awake, being his vigilante, sat by the counter next to foreign chemicals in glass test tubes and beakers. Valenti instantly called his half-sister who rushed to the laboratory. However, he failed to mention or better yet, omitted that while her lover was exploring the premises, he did not recall her or a significant portion of his life, apart from his brother and sister and the fact that they were all other-worldly beings. The doctor is a man of doing not saying, which meant that finding the right words to tell Liz about this unfortunate series of events was not his strongest suit. Thus, when Liz bust through the door he couldn’t even voice a word or two, and he had to watch as her heart broke once more as confusion festered her lover’s face. “I’m sorry” he whispers, “Have we met?”. In an instant, the weight of those words could have reversed gravity, at least it was how Liz Ortecho felt at that moment. 

\- No, he doesn’t – her voice breaks

\- Liz, I’m so sorry – Alex frowns his eyebrows as if he could feel her pain and pulls her into a warm sheltering hug 

She held onto his military jacket, she clutched it as if he could carry her out of her misery and sobbed. She sobbed as if Max had died once again. Alex leans backwards, cups her wet face and kisses her forehead. 

\- He’s been in love with you for the longest time, I think is more than possible that he could fall in love with you again – he says, putting his arms around her and pulling her closer while they sat on dusty bench, faced backwards to the door. 

\- But what if he doesn’t? – she replied reluctantly, not wanting to face that possibility

\- Then he doesn’t. But it’s better than him being dead. You’re strong, one more heartbreak to the list won’t kill you. Plus, I’m right here beside you and I will be, as Rosa, Maria, and your dad will be beside you too, every step of the way. 

Liz smiled dreadfully, she reckoned Alex was right, painfully right as only he could be. She couldn’t foresee what was ahead so there was no point in painstakingly analyzing facts, or trying to propose a hypothesis or even a solution to her problem. There was no point. The scientific method couldn’t save her relationship, that was up to her and, perhaps, Destiny? She already loved Max Evans so much and if it didn’t work out as she wished then at least she tried.  
They hear a voice in the distance calling out, “Liz?” they pause. “Alex?” asked the voice wearily. They get up, push the door. The faint lighting of the basement enlightens what seems to be a path towards Isobel Evans. 

\- Oh, Thank God – she mumbled gratified – I thought I heard voices and Kyle told me you were down hear – she explains – Oh, what is that smell?

\- Mold – replied Alex with a smirk on his face

Clearly disgusted Isobel plead:  
\- Can we please go see my brother now? I think if I stay here for one more second, I might die.

\- Why didn’t you go to him first? – argued Liz

\- - Because I wanted to check on you – she cautiously enlightened – Kyle told me that well… anyways, at least he didn’t make the same mistake twice

\- I wouldn’t be so sure – Manes responded with again a smug smile 

Liz exhales, she would definitely had laughed at what Alex said if the circumstances were different

\- You look better than I thought you would – Izzy affirms

\- I’m fine – Ortecho repeated another time

\- Ignore her, she keeps saying that 

Liz almost let out a chuckle, but instead she grins at him and shakes her head, her response to being mocked by her friend.  
\- Shall we? - Evans said endearingly


	3. Pit Of   Consciousness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> max is not himself fully, it's up to his family to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took me the longest to write, and i believe it's the most complicated one yet

Stairs are cold and grey dimly lit by a single lamp in each level of the facility. It seemed to echoed Liz’s mourning. Steps weighed more and more to the brilliant scientist the closer they got to the laboratory, until they were facing its door. She inhales shakily as Isobel pushes the door slowly, she might’ve been afraid of what she would see too, nevertheless she gather her courage, in such a manner that was so familiar to her and asked, anticipating both the best and the worst, “Max?”. “Iz?” is his response as he was being fluttered with alleviation. Her voice sounds different, however he knew in his core that was his sister. She opens the door wide as were her arms when they met her brother in loving embrace. He didn’t refrain from it though he barely recognized her. Liz follows her, unsure of how she should move or where should stand. Would it even make a difference to Max or Isobel if she wasn’t there? She doubts it. A warm hand rests on her right shoulder, it squeezes her tenderly, she reaches out to hold that hand, Alex’s hand while both of them just stood there by the entrance with the door closed behind them. Alex was so attentive to Liz he failed to notice Michael resting in upright position behind the tables science based room next to Kyle. He must’ve taken a ride with Isobel to get there. 

\- Iz, why am I here? What is going on? – he queried feeling his fear rise up to his chest

\- Listen, - she cups his face making his cheeks towered over her hands – I know you are confused and I’m going to explain everything, I promise. But answer this first: what is the last thing you remember?

He puts in effort to recollect his memories; everything seems to be spinning around him. First he wakes up to a grown man practically drooling over lab equipment. It reminded him of a nightmare he once had about being captured by an American government agency, maybe the CIA? He wasn’t confident about it though. His first instinct is to scream for his siblings and to look for something sharp. The man in the white lab coat says he was there to guard him and that he wouldn’t hurt him, that he could trust him, his name was Kyle. And oddly enough he did, for some reason that defied logic and self-preservation trust him. He mentioned Isobel’s name, then Michael’s, he swore he would call them. Moreover, he called a stunning woman, who was the first to come to his rescue and seemed disheartened she hadn’t strike him as someone he known. He ached for causing her pain. He acknowledges, due to the heart-warming feeling he felt at first glance, that she wasn’t wrong to be upset, he had to know her, he just didn’t remember. Although there wasn’t time for any reintroductions, she stormed out of the room. 

\- Max! – Iz shouts disrupting his train of thought and releasing his face 

\- Sorry… - he frowns his brows, exerting himself once more - the cabin. We were playing cabin in your room. We had the Christmas lights around it, I was reading you some stories, I must have fallen asleep… I – he pauses

\- But we were twelve… - she mumbles, puzzled 

\- Iz, I… - he takes a deep breath, his breaths increasing in speed

\- Hey, look at me – said Isobel softly – You are safe – she holds his face endearingly – You are safe, okay? I’m here, Max. I’m right here – she presses her forehead against his

\- Can’t you help him remember, Iz – Michael suggests – Pull his memories from his head, showing it to him? Is that even… possible?

\- I can try… Can I? - she pleads

Max simply nods his head, giving her his silent permission. Both of them shut their eyes. The world that surrounded Isobel seemed to melt in a hazy breeze, then, it was Max and her solely.

\- Why don’t you remember? I can feel it my bones that you remember –she questioned 

Suddenly, the room gets gloomy, dark even, the air in the room changed in the blink of an eye. The expression on the Evans’s brother changed. He is heavy-hearted.

\- I can’t remember, Iz. I’ve hid those memories deep – he confirms her suspicion – I used the energy we released in our fight to bury myself 

\- Why did you do that? – she raises her voice exasperatedly

\- Because what if these anger, - Max asserts - this poison that runs through my veins – what if it’s tied to the memories I have? 

\- You can’t do that; you can’t run away from your problems like this – she argued steely – Michael and I, we need you, we need our brother. Our grown brother!

\- I am trying to protect you! – he screams

\- I don’t need your protection! I don’t need it, Liz doesn’t need it, and Michael for sure doesn’t need it either. We need you! – Isobel concludes flaggingly – We need our family

He exhales, trembling in his breathing. What now?

\- It’s too late – heavy is the weight of crushing regret, he thinks

\- No – she seems to be elucidated – I can help you remember. I – I can make your subconscious spill out your memories, but you have to help me. Maybe your electromagnetic powers could come in handy right now 

Isobel reaches out her hands for Max to hold, he reluctantly obliges. They held each other with a firm grip. That grip becomes warm, then hot. Flaming. The urge to disentangle their hands surfaced, but they were stronger than that. Unyielding focus was essential for this to work. Isabel found herself scouring Max’s most profound memories. She sees flashes of Michael and herself at the group home with the other kids. The open road at nightfall while the three of them walking in queue, adrift, alone. A thousand distorted scenes of a movie only her twin had seen; that’s how it felt. She sharpens her concentration, tried to see any glimpse of something recent. Suddenly, she feels illuminated, enlighten and attempts, next, to physic-connect herself to him. Their arms and hands radiate both red light and heat, it’s blinding. Through the link they share, she opens a door and lets herself in. Subsequently, Isobel finds herself alone by a dark dusky lake. At the border, she tilts her head down only to be greeted by his brother’s vision through life. A thousand, a million or more scenes of what he saw. She presumed what he hid must’ve been at floor of that place. There wasn’t time. Without hesitation, Evans does everything in her power to assemble her brother’s memories, she saw herself touching the sand-like ground with both of her hands to become his bridge between him and his obscure self, to bring those memories afloat. She shrieks in a hellish manner, the ground beneath her quakes. And then, as a lightning strike, everything goes black.   
As dawn breaks in the morning skies, Isobel opens her eyelids. The laboratory seems vibrant, it aches to look at it with her cloudy eyes, but there is Michael, holding her, saying things her ears cannot hear but she distinguishes he is calling for her, and she replies:

\- Michael – she imagined to be appropriate to call for him too 

\- Are you okay? – finally her hearing returns

\- Where’s Max? – She lifts her core upwards, releasing herself from her brother’s arms

Max was enfolded by Liz’s arms and just as she addressed him he gets ups with agitation, frightened. He glances up and whispers:

\- Liz? – a tear forms itself in his beloved waterline and, as she parts her mouth, it falls

\- Max – she says with an eased heart 

Still seated, he shifts his vision to Isobel, obliged she was safe, even if she looked bleary-eyed. She alternates his sight from her and Michael and mumbles: “I remember everything”


	4. Self-realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so i'm sorry it took me such a long ass time, honestly i was not motivated at all to continue the story after 02x06 and well i kinda missed writing so i hope you like it.

Dark. Freezing ground. Hazy memories come to light. Max wishes to link them to form a coherent narrative of their past but he is still unable to, instead, seated across from his friends and family across the lab’s counter, to Michael’s and Isobel’s hopeful glistening eyes he says:

“I remember being chained to the floor, apparently it wasn’t some kind of punishment it was more like… precaution”

His brother and sister look at each other confused. Why was that necessary? Max was a kid he wouldn’t hurt anyone, not maliciously, not with intent, unless it was called for but he couldn’t possibly be that much of a threat being younger than a seven year-old. 

“Max, what do you mean?” Liz inquired carefully perhaps too scared to hear his answer

“I have no idea. It’s still foggy, but I remember something else” he breaks eye contact with Liz, staring now at his siblings again and their wide-eyed and parted mouth expression tell him that they are eager, itching to know more, any piece of information that could bring clarity to their past, to their life story.

“I remember concerned adults dressed in white, men and women, they looked scared almost, unsure and, I know that no matter what the circumstance is never good to display those emotions to kids but I don’t think they could help it” he swallows harshly, his eyes glittering. Michael suddenly noticed himself mirroring Max expressions, dread festered his chest as he imagined the things he probably remembered.   
The Evans brother proceeds: “I don’t think it was war.” he exhales sharply, “I don’t think it was war that sent us away. I- “he stutters, “I think it was our planet, I think it was dying and something made us crash onto Earth” looking down now, it looks like he is pondering whatever he has to say next, if it was useless, or damaging in one way or another swiftly he seemed to reach to a conclusion. “There’s something else”, he continues “I think it was bad, whatever was happening to our planet, it was bad, I don’t think many survived. But, I think that maybe, maybe it was just our spaceship that crashed here, maybe there still people like us out there just maybe not on this planet”.

A smile forms in Michael’s face, he gasps relieved, he restrains himself from crying, even if it appeared obvious that he might burst into tears at any moment just by mindlessly looking at him. Possibly he could reach out to them, the other survivors, some way or somehow, although there was a possibility they weren’t inhabiting the Earth, but maybe some of them were. The fact that he, Max and Isobel might not be the last remaining individuals of their species brings him such great solace. After Caulfield, sharp feelings of loneliness invaded him once more. And grief for the loss of something that, to his experience, seemed to be so distant and yet so close: family. It should be common sense to him that, indeed, he had a family, but Max and Isobel, no matter how much he loved them, were intertwined, perhaps given to the fact that they were twins, or maybe was the fact that they grew up together and were as inseparable as flesh and blood could be, in a way he knew could not be a part of. It hurt but he knew he put walls between him and them enough times to know that he had a part of responsibility in that hurt, now though, he could picture being closer but he could try to find that kind of connection, he could have other siblings. He ceases the train of thought; he wouldn’t allow himself to get too hopeful. “That’s great” he finally mumbles alleviated, he notices confused expressions scanning him “I mean, it sucks but knowing this feels good, like we have less and less missing pieces to this weird-ass puzzle that is our past” the cowboy pauses, and his frown dissolves into hope: “It feels like closure”. It felt like hope.

“You should write it down, all of those glimpses of your memory maybe it will help, maybe you’ll remember more” Liz blurts out, almost unconsciously and Michael gaped and wondered for a second if she could see into his thoughts. “Guys” Isobel interrupts the fervors of recent discoveries “Max is exhausted; he just woke up from a week slumber after trying to basically delete himself”, those final words earn concerned looks from all angles “Maybe later he could do that but right now he needs to rest.” She finishes and gives him a glance filled with fondness and concern. “First of all, what?” Liz interferes with the endearing moment, “And second of all” she shifts her body towards Max’s direction “Iz is right. Max could use some rest especially to slowly adapt to life again. We all could, it’s been a rough couple of weeks on all us all” She now presents a wide loving grin “Welcome home, Max”.

Isobel doesn’t leave premises of the late boarding school until she is sure that Max is safely buckled in Liz’s car as she is assured by her brother’s girlfriend that she will drive him home and take care of him and the blonde reminds her that she will visit very soon once Max is a bit more rested. Max leaving is a cue for Isobel’s departure, nevertheless before she gets into her car, she brings Michael into a warm embrace as to say she is happy and relieved that three of them are reunited then, she once again thanks a very hasty and weary Kyle as he closes the car to his door and leaves. She leaves leaving Michael himself and Alex Manes at the mercy of the early afternoon sunlight.   
Alex turns around ready to march aimlessly to his jeep, however decides to return to his previous position and asks promptly:  
“Are you ok?” 

In his distracted gazing at the movement of the cars, it takes a few seconds before the other man realizes he is referring to him. He sighs as the weight on his shoulders fall. “Yeah, I’m ok” he reassures him now staring back at him. He inhales and moves forward “I feel a thousand pounds lighter, it’s just… I was eager to know more, y’know?”. Alex nods in agreement: “I imagined you would” he utters softly. A moment of silence sets in as the two men share a brief look until the airman breaks it: “Take care, Michael.” Quickly moving to his vehicle and immersed in his own thoughts he stops as he hears what resembled his own name.

“Alex, wait!” – Michael lightly jogs towards his jeep. He looks reluctant in expressing the words he wants and as Alex lifts one of his brows in confusion, the cowboy continues: “I have been meaning to talk to you…” he pauses as he fidgets with his hands, looking downwards, reluctant again. “So talk”, the youngest Manes replied in an attempt to encourage Michael. 

“I, - he breathes sharply, trying not to suffocate on his nervousness – I was hoping we could do it somewhere more private”. As much as Alex would want to maintain his composure or be more stern since despite of being keen on mysteries, or more accurately resolving them, he wasn’t appreciative of the puzzled conversation they were having. “Michael, what is this about?” he questioned, fatigued and stumped. The otherworldly man decides abstain from defenses and proceeds: “Ok, Maria and I aren’t together anymore. And I was hoping you and I could talk”. Baffled and grinning from disbelief and hurt, Alex interrupts: “And you thought the best idea was to talk to me like I held power over who you choose to date or not, like you can only be your friend if I approve or not of who you dating. It’s fine, Guerin, I approve, I told Maria that. I thought she told you that” he asserts.   
“It’s not like that, Alex. Maria and I aren’t together anymore just because I want you and I to be friends. After Maria and I fought, and she refused to talk to me or answer any of my texts I had time to think about everything that happened”.

Alex clenches his jaw to the realization Michael isn’t solely mentioning his relationship with Maria but also Caulfield, everything that happened those last few months, perhaps the last decade. He continues: “I care about Maria, really. She is important to me, but the thing is I can’t just go to her when I was messed up over a million things, it wasn’t fair to her to just use her like that, to expect her to make everything disappear. I have to deal with that shit, and it’s what I was doing for a couple of weeks.” Alex watched him intently trying to piece every information together to better understand where the conversation could lead, so far he has a couple of hypothesis. “And when she finally accepted to talk to me I took the opportunity to be honest with her, as honest as I was trying to be to myself”. A brief paused settled and Guerin could catch his breath and his courage. “I told her I cared about her but that I wasn’t ready to have anything with her.” Alex shifts his gaze to the ground looking at it aimlessly, deflecting the hurt behind those words. Fruitlessly, the airman tried to convince himself that the chain of events that brought Maria and Michael together was positive, that it was for the best. Although, painfully evident, realistically he couldn’t bring himself to be at ease with it since he loved Michael deeply, disregarding but yet not forgetting how much it hurt. 

“And then I explained that I spent over a decade in love with a man and the way we handled our love wasn’t good.” The airman’s is caught but differently than before his hearts starts to race. Our love. “I needed to come to terms with it in a different way, to try to not repeat the same patterns. But then again, though, I came to all of those self-realizations not because I was putting her best interest at heart. Not really. It was hard but I told her that. I couldn’t possibly have anything with her if my heart would slam against my chest to the mention of your name”. Against all of his efforts, Alex eyes water and he forces himself to look to his own feet, any other effort was out of reach as his heart moves forward to imitate what Michael had just described his would do.   
“All of this effort, hell growth, I guess just so I could forget you? That didn’t seem right after a decade of desperately hoping you’d stay, I just couldn’t bring myself to continue the relationship with her. Because-“

“Michael.” – Alex pleads in an attempt to stop him before it is too late, before he can’t take back his words

“Because I love you, Alex.”

He, at last, looks up to see the other man streaming tears down his face.

“I love you and I want to do this right. But-”

He stops to clear his throat at the release of built-up emotion.

“If it’s not what you want, I’ll understand”

Silence seems to place the two men farther away and before it expands more, Alex once more breaks it.

“Can I think about it?” – he asked, almost rhetorically

“Of course”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's see how this goes OwO lmao


	5. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex meet at the Crashdown. Michael unintentionally confronts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the delay, i hope you like this one, it's extra fluffy

Quiet murmurs fill invade the silence in the bottom chamber of the ship, fadedly lit by faint red and purple light and on the walls drawings that resemble a map. Max is alone, tracing his fingers along de lines on the ground. Footsteps plod approaching the kid. “How are you feeling today?” the masculine voice asks soflty standing close. Max isn’t sure if this is a memory or a dream but somehow does not bat an eye to answer: 

“I’m ok” the small child shrugs whilst hugging his knees

“I’m sorry that that is how you’re training has to go but that’s the only way we can do it while we are travelling” crouching in an attempt to be at Max’s height he points out the metal glistening red attached to his ankle. He continues: “I promise when we land, I’m going to find a nice site for us to train while you’re growing into your powers. For now it’s our best option. I don’t want you to hurt yourself, or me” he huffs a laugh and smiles.

Portraying a frown very prominent in his soft face, the child asks: “Why is this here?”. 

The man seems puzzled for a moment until he realizes what he is talking about. He seems uncomfortable, nevertheless he doesn’t fail to answer the question: “In the past, our kind used to be proud to fly from place to place and to take them as our own. We held whoever seemed to not ok with the way we lived, locked up in here. But now we don’t use them anymore, at least not for that”. He retrieves a key from his pants pockets and unlocks Max’s chained ankle.  
“We are not like that anymore. Well, some of us, aren’t making the same mistakes”. The mystery man ruffles his hair and smiles as he adds: “No training today, we’re leaving that for tomorrow”. Max retributes with a smile of his own. 

Alex looks idly at the half empty milkshake glass right in front of him as Michael finishes his retell of Max’s recent and sudden grasp of a memory before the crash.

“That’s all I know, at least what he told me” he concludes, setting his black cowboy hat on the table

Approximately a week had passed after their last encounter. The airman knew Max was adapting successfully back to, well, life since Liz was updating him through text threads in hers, Alex’s and Maria’s group chat, at the very least when she could spare a moment between helping out at the Crashdown and researching to text her best friends. But Michael, though, he didn’t know how he how he was doing. Surely was a lot to take in: playing a part in his brother´s resurrection, seeing him helpless at the finessed laboratory, discovering truths about their past and so on, albeit Alex himself couldn’t have bothered to ask.

The truth was however guilty he may have felt for not checking in with his ex-lover and now, friend, he tried to justify to himself that he had a reason, a good one to not, in a genuine manner, talk to him about how he was doing: he felt it needed to be a conversation held personally. And even more truthfully he was scared, the last time they had a proper conversation (and not just some random notice about a discovery related to alien conspiracy) Michael abruptly told him he hoped for another chance and that he loved him. And he promised he would consider his request. He loved him. Such a thought brought him a warm lovely and rising feeling to his chest and with it: dread. He wondered how it was possible to sink in comfort and fear in equal measure as he let his thoughts wander to Michael and his confession. The airman should feel happy, it was everything he wanted to hear for months now, yet he was equally terrified. He walked through paths way more frightening than confronting the love of your life: war was a good example of that. Although none of them mattered at that moment, sat across from Michael at the Crashdown waiting, praying to have the courage to spill his emotions to a man he loved so dearly.

“Alex? Are you there?” Michael’s voice suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts

“Yeah, sorry” he shakes his head, trying to regain his composure 

“So what do you think?” Michael asked with an inquisitive eyebrow

“What do I think about what exactly?” he questions, bewildered 

“Wow, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are distracted, Manes. Were you even listening to a word I said?” he proceeds with one more question 

“Of course I was, Michael. I just got a little distracted at the end” he responds almost sounding hurt at the idea he would deliberately ignore him knowingly while he was telling him such an important subject. “Can you please just repeat your question, before all of the inquisition” the airman pleaded. 

Michael sighs ready to make another snarky remark but midway decides to oblige. 

“I asked if you think that maybe Max was mistaken, maybe there was a war going on and that’s why our family left our planet”

Alex, now paying undoubtful attention to the other man’s words, dismantled his previous position, chin on his hands with both elbows resting on the table, to interlaced fingers and arms resting closely to his abdomen.

“I don’t know, Michael. And why should it matter at this point? You’ve learned that there were multiple ships fleeing your natal planet to a safer one, you’ve learned that might be others like you in this galaxy, maybe, and you’ve also learned that Max was not tortured as you and Isobel feared, he was being trained.”

“But trained for what, though? Were we all trained or was it just him?” He asked more inquisitive, analytical

“Michael, does it matter?” Alex questions, more sternly now

“I don’t know. I thought Max gaining some of his memories back from before the crash would help us have more answers but I guess it just brought up more questions” he utters, defeated   
“And that’s why you called me, Guerin? To uncover the mysteries of the universe?” he questions again, now with a playful smile and a comically raised brow  
Michael exhales a shy laugh, smiling.

Suddenly the bright smile becomes dull and it dims to pursed lips. 

“You didn’t call” he states regretfully

Alex eyes twitches slightly as a response to the unexpected words coming out of Guerin’s mouth. His jaw clenches.

“What? You having second thoughts?” he inquires, sarcastically

It’s evident Michael is referring to their last in person talk.

Alex exhales almost a painful, anxious breath. He tries to find the right words to start this conversation and his beloved notices it. 

“Just talk to me, Alex” he says wearily

“I’m scared, Michael” he blurts immediately. He continues: “I’m scared because it’s what I always wanted but what if it doesn’t work out? What if you change your mind? What if you don’t really want this. What if-“

“Alex” Michael interrupts steely: “I spent weeks pondering all the worst and best case scenarios then I realized that none of that matters. Why? Because no matter where you were, what the circumstances were, I knew of one thing and one thing only.” He stops noticing Alex is painstakingly centered, he shelters his hand with his own. “And that thing is I love you. I wanna be where you are, Alex. That means I will fight like hell to make this work, you can be sure of it.”

Michael leans forward, reaching his hand to Alex’s jaw, cradling it, moving his thumb across his cheek. 

“Will you let me love you? Will you stay with me?” the cowboy asks softly, waiting for reassurance. Alex is sure that this is the first time in a long time he meets Michael’s gaze in such an endearing expression, his amber sunlit eyes glittering and, for a moment, it felt like the world vanished and it was just the two of them. Alex hoped he could feel like this forever. He held Michael’s hand against his face, intertwining their fingers and kisses his palm.

“Yes” the airman mutters

Michael’s fear melts in the form of giddy chuckles. He is so content. And Alex is swayed by the cadence of his laughter, the way his creased eyes are so bright and how his body trembles in release of happiness. He is in love with him. They hold hands over the table now, unafraid. 

“Now, I wanna take you on a date. A proper one, not a runaway to the desert, although I would like to do that at some point. I want to do something more romantic” 

Alex’s smile is intoxicating, the vision of him grinning like an enamored teenager is addictive, at least in the cowboy’s perspective. 

“I can’t say I’m not curious” he lets out a gorgeous chuckle, “I’m looking forward to it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus points if you noticed a gallavich reference in "I wanna be where you are" <3 i just want my boys to be happy  
> comments are always welcomed :)


	6. Self - titled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok so this fic was born out of my selfish need to write this chapter. i hope you enjoy :)

Thursday night seemed like a very arbitrary day for a date. In truth, this date was anything but that. Michael had planned everything to the last detail. He would, firstly, dress up, the best that he could, then he would pick Alex up, promptly at 7:30 PM. Next, he would drive to the Crashdown and maybe, just maybe he would watch his face sink in a bit of disappointment, only to be bewildered about what was to come. 

He convoked Liz and Isobel to be part of the part of the organizational committee of this date. Liz was in charge of the food and beverages, and the location, naturally; and Isobel was responsible for the decoration. Michael had been blatant about his requests for the evening and he could only hope, when parking his truck in front of the diner’s entrance, that his wishes would be attended. 

The cowboy was uncharacteristically nervous jumping out of his vehicle and swiftly opening the door of the passenger seat, a chivalrous action, but then again, who said chivalry was dead? He was not willing to let his nerves get the best of him, not tonight. On this night, he would try to at least start to make up to Alex Manes if not for the last decade, for the last months since they’ve met at the front door to the airstream and, unbeknownst to them, they were reunited. He was determined to be the man Alex deserved.

Sweaty palms opened the front door of the Crashdown and a delighted and smiling airman entered, followed by the cowboy. Behind the counter and into the kitchen, a gasp emerges and Liz accompanied it, blunderingly and breathless. She meets them at the bottom of the stairs that lead to her family’s space.

“Shall we?”, she expresses wearily pointing up the stairs

Both men just smile, amused

The atmosphere at the top of the building changed, Michael could tell just be the faint lighting seen in the distance. The eroded though classic Crashdown sign was embellished by small flickers of yellow light, that enveloped it, went inside the punctured outdoor, and tangled itself throughout it. A small table stood in front of it, surrounded by two chairs, in the center, there was a small but yawning glass vase with an unlit candle inside of it. Alongside it, a tall porcelain vase with a single rose being held. The white table cloth looked orange and the dishes and silverware seemed to reflect the flames of a small bonfire. Romantic music could be heard from the downstairs of the Crashdown.

The cowboy couldn’t help but be stunned by the setting. If he hadn’t envisioned it, despite of also receiving constructive but stern criticism from his sister he would’ve his jaw dropped. He turned to his date to finally admire his surprise and he was not disappointed. Alex’s eyes glistened in the yellow light, his smile glowed and Michael couldn’t help but be proud of himself. 

“Welcome to your romantic night, my kind sirs”, gestured Liz to the table and chairs. 

Apace, Michael strode to the chair on the right side, asking his beloved to follow him. He pushes the chair backwards so the airman can sit. “Chivalry”, he thinks once again. 

“I will be back with your food and beverages. I take my kind sir, Alex, will be having his milkshake with his fries?” she asks, while lighting up the candle. Her brunette friend nods huffing a laugh. His date is not amused by it, twisting his face with repel. 

“Be nice to him! You invited him to this date!” she scowls at the cowboy whose hands are now up in a true expression of truce. 

She leaves them to their date and, forthwith Alex questioned:

“Did you do all of this, Guerin?” his eyes wide and amber

“I imagined it and planned it, but this”, he gestures to their setting, “was Isobel’s idea”

“I figured you weren’t that big on fairy lights, they are cute though, but I imagine they also belong to her”

Michael nods. The airman shelters the cowboy’s hands with his own

“Thank you, Michael. This is beautiful and better than anything I could’ve come up with.” 

Michael holds his hand and bring it to his lips, kissing it soflty

Minutes pass by like seconds and, suddenly the lovely scientist/ waitress/ host for the night appears, bearing their food. She interrupted the laughter they shared.

“Here is your burger and beer” she sets both of them in front of Michael, “and here are your fries, burger and milkshake” she sets them in front of Alex. “Enjoy!”, she uttered vehemently with a bright grin, then turned around, leaving them by themselves once more.

The dimmed sounds of the city seemed to accompany the music and as they finished their meal, Michael glances at his date, struggling to slurp the last few drops of his drink and blurts out:

“Let’s dance”

“What?”, the other man inquired confused

“C’mon, Manes”, he tosses his napkin off of his crotch onto the table, and rises, offering a hand to Alex.

Reluctant with confusion and yet, amused, he obliges, taking his hand

They walk a few steps ahead then stopped. Subsequently, Michael shifts his hands to the other man’s hips, holding them, and in its turn, he takes his own hands and place them around the cowboy’s neck. And there they stood, swaying back and forth awkwardly and occasionally stepping on each other’s not failing to make the other chuckle. Nevertheless, they finally reach a point where their dance is stable and only music and the cosmopolitan sounds of New Mexico filled the space. 

The distinct sound of guitar chords being strummed appeared to be louder, which they both recognized it was the introduction of “Fade into You” by Mazzy Star. Their smiles grew bigger. The beautiful irony of that song playing and that single moment. Destiny, God or whoever, whatever it was that could control the Universe seemed to confirm the depths of their cosmic love and that they might, indeed, be meant to be. With both of their foreheads resting, pressed together and eyes, they vow silently to listen to the words spoken by the stars. 

A stranger's light comes on slowly  
A stranger's heart without a home  
You put your hands into your head  
And then smiles cover your heart

Alex’s eyes flutter open and he takes his hands to cradle his beloved’s jaw. Michael opens his eyes slowly and brings their bodies closer, pulling the other man’s waist closer to his. Their eyes, under the dull moonlight speak of words that are unsaid, words that are indisputable, but not uttered. I love you.

Fade into you  
Strange you never knew  
Fade into you  
I think it's strange you never knew

They smile

The music carries on and so do they

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm on tumblr @chillyourtitseatnoodles


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